O rry?

The title of this blog, "O rry?" is only because I can't think of anything else to write haha. I've been working my ass off lately. I actually LIKE working at Wal-Mart, which is crazy haha. I work from 2:00-11:00PM tomorrow. The shift kind of sucks, but it's okay. The only thing I don't like about it is doing returns at the end of the night, which is the most tedius, boring job. But, it has it's perks. I've met some really, really cool people so far. It tends to make the job easier. I met a guy =]. His name's Matt, and he works in Electronics. I'm a cashier though, so we're at total opposite ends of the store. So the only time I get to see him is when I walk by on my way to and from the break room. But we went out today, went to a movie. We saw The Comebacks, and it was actually really funny. If you're not into dumb, slap-stick humor, I wouldn't recommend it, but I liked it. We didn't kiss or anything, but that's okay. I'm trying to take things slow, cos well...I suck at relationships haha. But I had a good time, and he's really sweet. So that's good.

As far as a social life goes, I've just been doing my thing. I love my friends all so much, I don't know what I'd do without them. Christina said the same thing to me Saturday night, it made me feel so loved. And tonight when I was talking to my friend Kyle, he was like "I'm so thankful you're my friend." I've never, ever, felt so loved by a group of people in my entire life. I'm actually very happy with the way life is going right now...hopefully I'm not jinxing myself haha. -Crosses fingers.-

I bought a new bedset Thursday....I love it so much. Here are some pictures; One, Two, Three. Haha, that last picture was to show off my new shirt also =]. Oh and while I'm at it, here's an interesting little video of me and Christina doing "The Rico", which is a dance we do haha. Heree. We act like kids, it's okay.

I think maybe I should go to bed, it's 12:19 AM =[. I always end up staying up so much later then I plan. Goodnight!

All-nighter.

All nighter's are unhealthy, yet I just pulled one =/. Lmfao. My sleeping pattern has been really off the past couple of days...obviously. Friday night, Jacki and I hung out with Kyle..we met up with him at like midnight [walked to meet him..ugh I hate walking haha.], hung out at the park up the street, then we all came back to my house to smoke [basically all Jacki and I did Friday was smoke haha], and then Jacki and I walked Kyle alll the way back to his house...which took about an hour, so we got back to my house at aroudn 4:40 AM. We went to bed around 5AM, and woke up at like 1PM Saturday. Then Saturday night, we made Joe sneak out at like 11, hung out once again at the park, then brought him back to my house to smoke, until around 2Am, when we proceeded to walk him half-way home. So when we got back to my house, baked out of our minds btw, we were up until like 5AM. Elias had slept over Saturday too, so he woke me up early a few times Sunday morning for like breakfast and stuff [He's 3...my little man haha]...and after Jacki and Elias left, I slept til 5PM Sunday. Then Sunday I was up til 3AM, slept til 4PM...and last night, I didn't go to bed AT ALL. I'm running on like...I don't even know. Two cups of coffee, vitamin water, and no food. Haha. After I finish this I'm gonna go get food. The only reason I didn't go to bed at all is cos I'm gonna be going out in about an hour to meet up with everyone in Quincy Center, and I knew if I went to bed at 6AM, the chances of me waking up before 6PM were slim. =/. At least tonight I'll be tired enough to go to sleep nice and early.

Today I'm probably just gonna hang out with the usual crew at the library/galleria/Quincy Center for a couple hours. Kyle's supposed to be coming over later on tonight to hang out and watch Boston Beatdown [www.bostonbeatdown.com], which is a documentary he's in. That should be cool. I invited Jacki too, but she's got some family issues going on so idk if she'll be able to come =[. It makes me so sad to see her hurting. I hate when my friends are sad. =[[

I'm starting to develop a crush on one of my guy friends...and I know we could never be together. One, because he's basically taken by someone. And two, because he dated one of my closest friends for a while and I know that she would be so hurt if I were to be with him...and all of my friends would basically turn their back on me for it. Which sucks...but hey what can ya do. I don't really care though...I'm not exactly sure I want a relationship anyways...like I do...but IDK. The guys I'm attracted too lately are either too young, too taken, or just...idk...not good enough for me...which sounds conceited, but that's the only way I can phrase it. And I don't want to get hurt again, so the only way I know how to fully protect my heart is not to give it away to anyone. "That's what you get when you let your heart win.." Haha Paramore lyrics<3. WOW, that was so absolutely emo of me =P.

I think maybe I'm gonna go hunt down some food...I'm starving all of a sudden.

Herrow!

Well. I suck a keeping a blog. But yeah...I'm back now. I've just been really busy, so I haven't had much time to sit down and update my blogs and stuff. But yeah...for the past few weeks I've been hanging out with the most amazing group of people everr. Some new and old friends alike. Been getting really drunk and doing drugs...just kinda living it up. Tomorrow my mom's gonna register me in school again so I can go back [once again haha.], and I'm still waiting on hearing from Wal-Mart...cos they still wanna hire me, but they're waiting for my background check to come back. But they should really hurry up with it cos I'm getting impatient, and I really could use a job haha.

Uhm...so I fell for someone new...and he's way too young for me. He even told me if he was older, we'd be together, which makes it really hard to be around him cos he has a new girlfriend. But his name's Joe [me and him, ignore jacki haha]..I call him Ron Weasley cos his hair is so red, and he kind of resembles Rupert Grint. He's seriously one of my best friends at the moment. Jacki, Joe and I are the Terrible Three [Here's us.]<3. Haha, we were pretty baked.]

I also dyed my hair pink...well Jacki dyed it for me haha. I did the bangs, and like underneath/back. It looks really good...it started to fade a lot [I only used Manic Panic] cos I shampooed it a lot. But I love it. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5.]

I have a ton of work to do around the house...gotta clean the kitchen, which is a mess cos last night Jacki, my mom and I made homemade beef stew, which is delicious. And I have tons of laundry to do, I gotta take out all the trash, and clean my room. Ugh. It doesn't help that I woke up at like, 4:50 PM, or I would have already had everything done by now. So I'm gonna go do all that...and I'll try and blog tomorrow if anything interesting happens, which I'm sure it will.

Ooh gee

Blah. I died for a while.

Since I last blogged. I got that $15 an hour job at Save The Children...it was fun and I loved it. But then I kept getting zero's (zero sign ups for the day) and kept being at risk to get fired, and it was really stressing me out and taking a toll on me. Last Wednesday, I got fired. But that's okay. It wasn't the right job for me.

I had an interview today at Wal-Mart, and I have to go back tomorrow morning @ 10 to finish it. I think I'm gonna be hired...idk. I hope so lol. I filled out some paperwork and such. And they gave me papers about like, acceptable ID's and stuff you get when you're being hired lol. It was so random...I walked into interview room, and my old friend Tony Parker was there...we both went "YOU?" haha. It's a love/hate thing. But yeah, I'm excited for that shtuff. I still have one more pay check from STC coming Friday, so hopefully it all works out and I'll be good for a while lol.

This weekend was amazing. Got cruuuunk Friday night, with my friend Brianne, her boyfriend Bryan, and their hot friend Gary (im kinda crushin on him a lil, but he's my friend's little brother =x). And then these other two guys came over (we were at bryan's)...Mike and 'Festa'... both hot, both cool as shit. It was a realllyy good night...I spilt beer on myself several times...passed out in bryan's bed...got home around 6 am ahaha. We got a party ball...which is a ball full of 55 servings of beer ahaha.

Idk what's going on this weekend, but hopefully more drinking. Idk yet though. But I'm excited for my interview tomorrow...so I'm gonna go to bed.

Cheers

Good news and bad.

Wooo I totally got the job I applied for! God really came through, and I'm so greatful. Training starts Monday at 9am. I need two forms of ID though...and all I have is my old school ID and and my Social Security card...so I'm just gonna bring those two in on Monday and tell him I'm going to get my permit Monday after training. My mom's gonna pay for it I guess. So I'll owe her $170 ($30 for the permit and $140 that I already owed her.) Hopefully they don't mind. And also, I have to get a 7 day T pass, which costs $15.00, for unlimited rides on the subway, commuter rail, and busses. That'll get me there and back the first week, and then I'll have to buy another next week. I have like...$15.00 exactly lmfaoo. Well my mum's gonna give me $10, and Shannon owes me $4 that she said she'll give me tomorrow...so I'll have exactly $29 lmfao. As soon as I get paid though, I'm starting a bank account so I won't have to worry anymore.

I just got in from the mall with Shannon and the baby...Shannon being my best friend, and 'the baby' being her son, Malechi. I basically just walked around and helped her pick clothes to buy for the Marilyn Manson & Slayer concert she's going to in August. But Malechi had fun so that's really all that matters...and also I hadn't seen Shannon in like two weeks so that was cool. I did buy a ring though, at Forever 21. The band is faux-gold and it's got a ceramic white flower on top..it's very costume jewelery-esque but I like it, and it only cost $3.80. We ate at Johnny Rockets, which I looove. The waitress not only forgot my Sprite, but she also forgot that I ordered an order of fries with my burger....and then her and another waitress were rude, so we didn't tip. The food wasn't even that good, and we felt rushed. But once again, Malechi enjoyed it so who cares lol.

I'm not gonna go into detail, but kiddies. Fighting on the internet is about as ballsy as a field mouse. Seriously, don't think you're all big and bad threatening someone and calling them names in an INSTANT MESSAGE, because chances are if you were in front of that person you wouldn't be saying shit. That's all I'll say on that subject =]]

I'm gonna be starting a Myspace layout site too...idk what to call it yet. But I've already got 3 layouts made, one is the one I have on my myspace. Add me if you have a myspace, I love meeting new friends =].

I've got loads of research on Save The Children to do for work....I've already done some and it's really very interesting. I think everyone should check it out, and educate themselves. Just go to Savethechildren.org and read up on it, and if you can afford to, donate =]]

LOL I'm just finished listening to one of the Dane Cook skits on my iTunes. He seriously is so funny....idrc what others say about him because he has a lot of haters but I still find him to be one of the funnier comedians now a days. And he's from Cambridge, Massachusetts =]]

Oy vay I have a ton of stuff to do. I'm off, cheers! =]

Oh, about my title

I just realised I forgot to explain the name of my blog.

Well I originally wanted it to be clandestine.blogspot.com, but that name was taken. So my second choice was Kissaphobic. Kissaphobic comes from a line in one of my favorite McFly songs, Little Joanna "and that's why i'm a kissaphobic, how your life dreams are made."

"The Clandestine blog of a kissaphobic teenage girl" is because I didn't want to COMPLETELY give up the clandestine part...and clandestine means kept secret or done secret...and this blog is a secret from my real-world friends and my family. And no, I'm not really afraid of kissing lol. But once again, my username is kissaphobic.

Soo yeah. Hope I cleared up any confusiong =]

Blahh

Ugh I'm so full. We had baked stuffed haddock and corn on the cob for dinner...I'm soo effing stuffed. My mom's friend Roseanne is here, once again. She's always here. I hate her. I actually loathe her. Like... wouldn't-care-if-she-ended-up-on-a-milk-carton kind of hate. She makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a pen, only I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. Uggghh. Also, my Auntie Corey (my Godmother) and her two daughters, Leah (8) and Sammy (6) came over. I always love seeing them. Hopefully I'm going to spend the night at her house this weekend. Her oldest, Pat (15) is like my little brother...we were raised together. I love that kid to death. My mom asked Corey to be the Godmother when she was two weeks pregnant, lol. Roseanne hates Corey, but it's okay because Corey hates Roseanne too lol. Not that many people like Roseanne much ahaha.

I definitely woke up at 4:02 PM today. I went to bed at 3:30 am. My sleeping schedule is so off whack. I'll probably end up taking some Tylenol PM and going to bed in a couple hours. I hate sleeping through the whole day....even though I have no life haha.

I applied for this great job at a place called Dialogue Direct. It pays $13.00 an hour...which is great because I live on $100 a month right now. And I'd be able to really help out my mom. My interview was yesterday, in Boston at 10 AM. There was a like a huge group of people, but everyone got 3 minutes in the office alone with him to interview, and he said he was gonna hire about 2 people or so. So I have to wait until Friday to find out if I got the job...he says he'll only call if you're hired so yeah. But I think my interview went pretty well...idk though. I've been praying every night to get this job...I really really want it, and I also really need it. I'm in debt...I owe my mom $140, my friend Brian $100 for Fall Out Boy tickets he bought me...I have bills to pay, I need a new cell phone, we need food, I have barely any clothes. Ugh lame. LOL if you pray, pray for me please? That sounds so selfish but this job could really help my mom and I, and I could finally get my life back on track, and that's all I want, is a simple, good life. That's really not a whole lot to ask of life, right?

Well right now I'm sitting here eating a giant red freeze pop and listening to the RENT movie soundtrack....which btw is one of the best soundtracks ever. =] Laterrr

<3Meg

First entries are always fun.

Hmm. Soo...hi? Lol that's intriguing, yea? Well...I always find it hard to decide what to write in a first entry. You don't want to completely open up right away, because then the readers will think you're a loon and never come back, lol. Or maybe being a loon is what keeps eople coming back...yea? That's something to ponder for ya.

Well...my name is Meg.I'm Irish, English, Austrian, and French-Canadian. I live in Quincy, Massachusetts, which is about a 10 minute train ride from Boston. I've lived in Quincy all my life, in 3 different homes. It's always just been my mom and I...and we manage just fine.

Right now I'm not in any form of school...although I fully intend on getting my GED and attending college for music, or graphic design, or both. I'm not 100% sure yet. I'm also unemployed at the moment. But I don't just sit on my ass all day. My mom has been handicapped for the past 5 years, so I take care of her full time. It's really tough and it takes a toll on me, but who the hell says NO mom I'm not gonna take care of you or help you in any way? No one with a conscience, I know that much.

I can be a huge bitch. I've yet to meet a bigger bitch than myself...which is really saying a lot. But I'm also very nice. I don't have very many friends, but the ones I do are very dear to me. I would do anything for my best friend Shannon and her beautiful son Malechi, and she knows that. I'm a very loving person, actually. If you're fortunate enough to get really close to me, you'll know what I mean. Some of my best mates are ones I only know online, so far, which sounds lame. (Aimee, Kirsty, Skye, Bri, Justine, and everyone else from PFP who I talk to on a regular basis, hey guys!) Next summer, Aimee and I have decided that we're all gonna fly to London and tour with (aka follow) one of our favorite bands together...she thinks I'm joking, but I'm not =].

Hobby wise...I'm pretty much a geek. I love my iMac, and I adore Photoshop, graphic design, web design, HTML, the whole bit. LOL I told you I was geeky. I also love to sing, and as you'll soon find out, I make loads of videos and recordings of myself singing. My favorite TV shows are The Black Donnellys, Grey's Anatomy, Heroes, American Idol, ONE TREE HILL, Hidden Palms, America's Next Top Model, October Road, and Law & Order: SVU, to name a few ;]. And I have loads of favorite movies. Music is absolutely everything to me. I've had some really rough times and my music is what keeps me going. My favorite bands are Fall Out Boy, McFly (the band we're going to stalk), Son of Dork, Paramore...and loads more. Fall Out Boy saved my life, as cliche as that sounds. But they really did. When I've a broken heart, they're there for me. When I'm pissed off at the world, they're there. Although I've never met any of them...they're the best listeners a girl could ask for =]. WOW do I sound lame, yea? Lol. I also love to read...I'll read just about anything you give me. And I really enjoy writing, especially fan fiction. In kindergarten, my teacher predicted I was the "next Stephen King" although I think she may have exaggerated a bit ;-].

Uhm, I really don't know what else to write? If there is absolutely anything else you'd like to know, just ask, yea?

Thanks for taking the time to read!
<3Meg